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 Why the Chiefs suck

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RustShack
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PostSubject: Why the Chiefs suck   Mon Jul 23, 2012 4:44 pm

First topic message reminder :

1. "Let's hire the Battletoad!" When you're evaluating a potential head coaching prospect who has a career record of 26-41, it's usually best to not focus on a single victory that came out of that otherwise horrible record. I think it's very sweet that the Chiefs managed to buck up and foil the Packers' unbeaten season last December, but you don't go planning your goddamn FUTURE around that one serendipitous moment. Romeo Crennel was a good coach that game. For the other 66 games in his career, he's been a SHITTY coach. That massive heap of failure tends to override everything else. But no, the Chiefs were just like, "You beat the Packers! OUR NATURAL RIVALS! Here's your contract HERPY DERP DERP."

2. Peyton Hillis will inevitably find a way to piss everyone off. I hate Peyton Hillis, mostly because I drafted Jerome Harrison in my 2010 fantasy draft, figuring he'd continue to play well after hanging 286 yards and three TDs against these same Chiefs in late 2009. Instead, WHITE ANUSFACE here bogarted all the carries, had a great season from some other dick who plucked him off of waivers (it's always some other guy who gets the good waiver pickup), and then spent 2011 going to absolute shit. He nursed injuries. He snubbed kids at charity functions (will no one think of the children?). Then he got his ass run straight out of town. And now Hillis will fulfill the Thomas Jones role of vulturing carries from Jamaal Charles and causing you to shriek WHY IS THAT ASSHOLE ON THE FIELD after Charles helps the Chiefs drive all the way down to the five yard line and is then immediately subbed out. The Chiefs find themselves relying on two Browns castoffs—Crennel and Hillis—to help them win in 2012. Why not add Derek Anderson to the mix, to finish the job? YOU KNOW YOU WANT TO.

3. Hiring anyone away from the Patriots who is not named Bill Belichick is a fucking horrible idea. I don't know how many times a Belichick underling has to monkeyfart his way through a new job before NFL people finally say to themselves, "You know what? Maybe Belichick lackeys are terrible at coaching football." Here is the murderer's row of idiots who have taken big jobs after working under the King of All Hobos:

• Charlie Weis
• Romeo Crennel
• Josh McDaniels
• Scott Pioli
• Bill O'Brien
• Eric Mangini

Out of that illustrious group, it will shock you to learn that Weis—of all people—is the only one to compile a winning record since leaving New England. And while O'Brien has yet to coach a game at Penn State, I think it's more than fair to deem his judgment questionable for leaving the NFL to take over a program that now barely exists. Anyone with a brain knew that Penn State was going to have a rotten rest of the decade. And he took the job anyway! What an idiot. The Belichick coaching tree is mighty oak whose leaves are all dead and shriveled. Unless you can lure the MILF Hunter himself away from Foxboro, importing your leadership from New England is a remarkably bad strategy. Denny Green has a more successful coaching tree. I'm not even kidding. And the Chiefs now have Belichick cronies at both head coach AND GM. You won't find a more humorless, paranoid way to go 5-11.

By the way, I'll always be tickled by Joe Posnanski writing this comically fawning piece on Pioli (He only drafts team captains!), only to have Pioli be accused of mentally abusing employees thirteen months later. He builds teams THE RIGHT WAY.

4. Matt Cassel is still there. ANOTHER Patriots castoff! Holy shit, it's like a compulsion at this point. We need to stop the Chiefs from hoarding so many useless items from the Foxboro attic. Otherwise, two years from now, they'll have signed Brian Hoyer and Kyle Arrington and Sammie Morris and Bill O'Brien and you'll need people in Hazmat suits to come clean up the mess because it will reek of mold and fungus and barbecue sauce and REPUGNANT FUCKING FAILURE.

5. A Chiefs fan chimes in. Reader Jason R.:

Chiefs Fan here... here are some reasons why the Chiefs suck, though we all still think we are going to the playoffs this year

• Because they let Brandon Carr walk so we would have money to sign Dwayne Bowe to a long term deal. Only now they're gonna let Bowe leave after this season to go to some shitty team like Miami because they think Jon Baldwin is gonna be a Pro Bowler. Jon Baldwin: the guy who only has 21 catches and 1 touchdown and broke his hand fighting Thomas Jones. Even if Baldwin becomes a Pro Bowler, they ignore the logic that having two Pro Bowl Wide Receivers is better than having one.
• Our biggest triumphs this past offseason was not making Josh McDaniels our offensive coordinator.
• Because of THIS.
• Pioli said he was going to bring in competition for the quarterback, so he signed Brady Quinn
• Oh, and Matt Cassel sucks.

That he does, as do the Chiefs in general.
http://deadspin.com/5926992/why-your...as-city-chiefs

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PostSubject: Re: Why the Chiefs suck   Tue Jul 31, 2012 5:24 pm

Hes at his best when hes not the top(or only for that matter) WR. Baldwin emerging is going to be huge for him, and for us.

Baldwin, Bowe, Breaston, and Moeaki could each see multiple 100 yard receiving games. Bowe and Baldwin with the bulk obviously.

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PostSubject: Re: Why the Chiefs suck   Tue Jul 31, 2012 5:54 pm

I think we could see 2 1000 seasons depending on Cassels play and Dabolls playcalling..also depending on when Bowe shows up.

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PostSubject: Re: Why the Chiefs suck   Tue Jul 31, 2012 6:06 pm

I really hope we can get Bowe signed long term after this season. I think him and Baldwin could end up being the best tandem in the league for years to come. They both have all the ability in the world.

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PostSubject: Re: Why the Chiefs suck   Tue Jul 31, 2012 6:59 pm

RustShack wrote:
You want Bowe to call Pioli out for not overpaying for players? That would just make Bowe look stupid.

Especially when Pioli's method has us winning our first playoff game in how long this year? On top of us having one of the best and youngest rosters in the entire NFL.

No matter how you spin it, Pioli has done a great job here. Taking one of the worst rosters and making it into one of the best usually doesn't happen in this short of time. You cry about some of the picks hes made, point to me one single GM who hasn't had those misses.

Thats the kool aid talking Rust... I love how you have us winning a playoff game due to the "great Pioli" before the team has even played a single snap.
You just made me laugh. No playoff wins since Montana and all of a sudden the Great and Powerful Oz( Pioli) is leading us to the promised land. Lets see how the team looks on the field before we hand them the Lombardi Trophy. Just because they look good on paper( and that is debatable) doesn't mean that we will succeed on the field. I would love to see us win but I've seen this hype w/ this team before.

Maybe the great and powerful Oz can give Bowe a heartand Cassell a brain.

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PostSubject: Re: Why the Chiefs suck   Tue Jul 31, 2012 8:23 pm

We were a field goal away from making the playoffs last season. Theres no doubt were a capable playoff team right now, especially with the upgrades weve made.

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PostSubject: Re: Why the Chiefs suck   Tue Jul 31, 2012 9:25 pm

Rich Gannon ranks the Chiefs as the sixth best team in the NFL this year.

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PostSubject: Re: Why the Chiefs suck   Fri Aug 03, 2012 6:39 pm

Talent wise I wouldnt doubt it. This team is stacked from top to bottom right now, except at QB.

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PostSubject: Re: Why the Chiefs suck   Sat Aug 04, 2012 9:47 am

If they can put it together with the talent and potential this team has, It will definately be a good year to be a Chiefs fan.
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PostSubject: Re: Why the Chiefs suck   Wed Aug 08, 2012 8:19 pm

While the NFL and the players union will enact new polices to try and curb the problem, in interviews with players and team executives, the newer belief among teams themselves is that Darwinism will take over. Teams that have problem players will lose and teams that don't will win.

According to a database created by the San Diego Union-Tribune, the Minnesota Vikings have had 36 players arrested since 2000, the most in the league. Cincinnati is next with 35, Denver at 32 and Tennessee with 30. There aren't a lot of championships in that group.

Let's extrapolate that list even further to the top 10 teams with the most arrests: Vikings, Bengals, Broncos, Titans, Jaguars (27), Chiefs (27), Dolphins (26), Chargers (25), Buccaneers (24) and then the Colts (23). So of that dubious top 10, only the Colts have been to a Super Bowl since 2000, and that's probably because Peyton Manning is so good, he can even overcome mass team arrests.

Far down the list are teams like the Steelers (17), Ravens (16), Patriots (13) and Giants (12) -- all Super Bowl winners since 2000 and some multiple winners. The Eagles, also with a Super Bowl appearance, are low on the list with 10, as are the Jets, who have been to multiple conference title games.
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